Mary K's ramblings

23 May 2006

Holy Crap how time flies.

I was asked by a co-worker today how many days? Honestly, though I have a running countdown on the blog and in a calendar I have, I have not looked for about a week and a half because I have been in a “freak out” over it all. Well, after the question was posed, I looked at my calendar and marked off the appropriately finished days. Let’s just say, my freak out has not been helped with this action.

I am thrilled and scared at what is to come. I know I am striving to be in the midst of the will of God, though I feel far from Him right now. I know God has ordained my every step and He directs them as well. I also know He will not see me disgraced. This is what is helping me to stay sane. No, this is my sanity right now.

I have begun the arduous journey of “lasts”. It is painful, bittersweet and downright almost more than I can bear. This past Sunday evening, my church had its closing/award ceremony for our AWANA program. I have been the director for the Sparks, K-2, for the past few years. I have seen children learn more about the Lord, commit the Bible to their hearts and grow in grace and truth. Before we presented the awards, our group sang the Sparks theme song. I could barely get through it for tearing up. The kids have been great and my leaders, well they have been my joy as well. I will miss them all. The friendships that have grown from our collaborative work in the Lord are bonds I will not ever forget or lose. I did cry and I felt the pain of loss. I won’t get to see Parker as a Sparkie next year, I won’t be able to see Sophia complete her second then third books to get her Sparks Award. I love these kids and I mourn my loss of getting to work with them. This Wednesday my last time with my kids choir will roll around. The Melody Makers are 3, 4, 5 and 6 years in age. This is a precious time where we sing praises to the King and He is pleased to know His word is going into young hearts through song. I feel some pain even today for this last time. I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself cause I am losing my children. I know that God will provide someone to take my place, of that I am certain. I just will miss it. I love them. I am trying to look to the future where I may have similar groups at my new church in Brazil. I will still grant myself some time of mourning over my loss.

So, yeah, your prayers are coveted and GREATLY appreciated. I am doing my best to rely on God but I will admit lately I have been a bit too self reliant.

Love and hugs to you all.

fofinha posted at 11:36 AM

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